New York Collections: Suede

A slutty fairy princess costume. I can't imagine any woman over 6 years old wearing that lackluster get-up. It's all just so froufrou and cake-y.

Ugh. Fringe skirts are bad, but a necktie fringe skirt is just the stupidest, fashion schooliest route anyone can take. The top is too baggy and the skirt is too shiny (and plasticy; it looks like he made that skirt from beach umbrella clippings). I mean, it looks like something a spoiled little girl would wear when playing dress-up in her gay father's closet. 

Finally, something that isn't sickening! The colors are a bit of a miss, but the bodice is decent-looking, if a little bulky, and the band at the bottom is a nice touch. The skirt is very bouncy and flowy.

Eh...no. It's just so simple and uninspired, and it doesn't fit well with the rest. 

Good lord what a disaster! It's like something Christian designed if he were twelve and on crack. The colors, fabrics, and execution are just horrible. 

 

Slutty! Tacky! Fringey! Seriously, what the hell was he thinking with this collection? Was his message "Grown women should be dressing up as little girl hookers"? Poor Nazri can never walk down a runway in Bryant Park in something tasteful.

A table-cloth dress, great. Honestly, what the hell? The prints conflict, the colors are sickly sweet and that friggin' bow is just stupid. And a detachable skirt? Bitch, please, it's not stagewear. 

Horrible fit. Hideous bodice. Crinkled pants. Umbrella fabric jacket. Whatever.

He's still rocking the fabric he bought at that patio outlet store, eh? That one ruffle is interesting, and surprisingly "fashion-y" but it still flops. 

This is what every white-trash six year old girl wants to wear on her wedding day. 

You know, I've given a lot of grief to Santino for producing the worst collection ever, but Suede takes the cake. Literally. His childish, pastry collection was poorly executed, uninspired, and doesn't define a good design point of view or a clear market in the fashion world. If he isn't a decoy, there's no justice.   

Video with commentary here.

New York Collections: Jerell

Well, since the Project Runway finalists (and decoys) showed today, I figured I would weigh in on their collections before I get to the "real" designers later. 

I'll go in the order they showed, which appears to be: Jerell, Suede, Joe, Kenley, Korto and Leanne. If the past shows have told us anything, all of the guys are decoys (unless Bravo pulls some trick on us) and can I just say praise Jesus. It's going to be tough to do this, but starting with Jerell isn't that bad, since his collection might have been the least offensive of the three.

PS- I'm not to sure about what the real order is with the clothes; lots of different sources present them differently. I tried my best to piece it together, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

I...have no words. No, I have one: tacky. 

Still a little too much, but nothing sparkly. It's not entirely fresh or even youthful, and it's a but too full at the neck, and there's too much shit going on around he middle, but with a little editing it would have been good. Nothing new, but good.

Messy.

Taking a big departure from the previous two looks, this one is just...bad. And, unfortunately, more what would be expected from Jerell: too many fabrics that don't relate, and in fact, work against each other. The leggings especially just look terrible, and that netting! Good lord. It almost has a "hooker on the docks" vibe with the stripes and netting. 

 

Not bad. As usual with Jerell, there's a bit too much going on, and this outfit would have benefitted from some restraint, but, at the very least, all of the fabrics seem to work together enough for it not to be overwhelming to the eye. The only real criticism I have is the netting, especially since it extends way past the wrists; it's not incredibly appealing and feels too loose and messy, especially with that skirt. And, the bodice is a little too chunky. Not a bad effort, though, especially the sophisticated, earthy palette.  

This is actually really beautiful, head to toe (and back). The bateau neck, the bracelet sleeves, the intricate back, all make a very chic look. It's a little heavy, and might have been better with a different fabric. 

Foregoing the fact that this look has absolutely nothing to do with the previous pieces (which were already teetering on the brink of non-cohesiveness) this frilly lilac mess just doesn't belong. Anywhere. It's like a clown's evening dress. A Ball Clown. 

 The bust is weird, and the belt isn't right. The fabric is pretty nice.

I'm being blinded by all of the sparkle. Sequins are very tricky, even in "safe" colors like black and brown, but to pair purple sequins with three other colors? Too much. And that piece of rope around her waste? Cheap.

Okay. Pretty, (except for the disgustingly vulgar crunched up boobs; it looked like she had a baby that sucked her dry!) even though it doesn't fit with the rest at all. One could argue it's the best piece in the collection. But you can go to the Zac Posen show or maybe even the Vivienne Westwood show (maybe I'm too obsessed with that gown) and see the same dress rendered better in more expensive fabrics. I'll give Jerell credit for making a stunning look in basically one color, but in terms of fashion...this is neither new nor interesting. So, for this to be his final mark, his last exit...sums him up as a designer in the context of Project Runway: cliched. 

All in all, the collection was just not very good. Even though it was clear he tried, he suffered from his own worst attributes, and for that, he floundered. Plus his music sucked.

See them on the runway (with Newsday fashion commentator Anne Bratskeir) here.

Dawning of the Age of Aquarius

Hair's going to Broadway. How shocking!

Ain't Got No

Crazy as it may sound, I want this. I want to do this. Too often I find myself sitting at home yelling at Bill O'Reilly, and realize that I'm actually doing very little in an effort to stop injustices in the world. Talking about it is not enough.

Set in Stone

What the Fall?

I just noticed my first September post...where did the summer go? 

Looking back to July I remember all the good times I had...staying awake all night, sleeping during the day, watching Weeds, writing, designing, thinking... all the while hoping for school to start. 

Despite how much I wish I were a little more appreciative of the time I--and all of us--have, I think it's inevitable that we will never live in the moment. We constantly envision the future, but more so, we idealize the past, all the while forgetting to stop and smell the roses. I guess it's sort of an existential debate, though, considering the "present" never really exists except for the shortest measurable amount of time...

I guess it's apropos we're going into Autumn, the ultimate season of transition. Let's make the effort to change and appreciate the present. 

Adieu, summer! 

Do unto Others...